I 'Give Up"

January 26, 2012

I give up! How often have we heard our children say that or someone close to us say that about a situation? How often have we thought they gave up too soon or they should have tried harder or any of the hundred other thoughts that typically cross our minds in such situations? My question today, is there a time when we need to give up for the sake of the other people involved?

I have been reading, When I Lay My Isaac Down by Carol Kent for the last few weeks and have come to the very startling conclusion that I needed to give up. My life has been one of control. We all do it. In some cases control is the best thing we can do but how often are we (or have I) been blind to the fact that letting go is the best thing we (I) can do?

So what did I give up on today? I gave up on my son. I gave up MY hopes and dreams for him and opened my eyes to the fact that in “protecting” him I had in fact been damaging his wings to fly on his own. Have you ever watched a butterfly come out of a cocoon? Butterflies struggle to break free of the bonds of the cocoon fibers then rest exhausted from the effort until their wings gradually unfold so they can fly. If you “help” the butterfly free itself, the wings never unfold and the butterfly cannot fly. They need the struggle to unfold their wings to their full potential so they can survive and fly through life. Without the struggle they die!

My son and so many other young people in this world need their parents to step out of the way to let them struggle. We are so protective as parents we think we are doing them a favor by shielding them from the struggles of life. We want to see them have a better life then we did growing up.  It was the struggles in our lives that made us the people we are today. Trial and error in decision making are the only way our wings become strong enough to fly. In hovering over and protecting our children from life we rob them of the very chances we want them to have.

So today, I’m stepping out of the way of my son and his decisions. Will I be there if HE ASKS for advice, sure what kind of mother would I be if I weren’t? Will he come live with me? NO! He must be given the chance to be out on his own and make his own mistakes. If he’s hungry can he come over to eat? Once in a while but not everyday. It is in the struggles of life my child becomes stronger and I want him to be the strongest man he can possibly be in life. It’s called tough love for a reason. I don’t think it’s tough on the person we give it to but tough on us as we watch them struggle. It’s the greatest gift we can give our children. So…I give up! I give up my son’s life to the God who gave him to me. I can’t wait to see what the future holds for him now.

Wolfe Wednesday

January 18, 2012

And the winner is…well I’ll leave that for a little while from now but today I’m revealing the movie I’ve quoted for the last couple of weeks. Now movies and I are kind of a strange relationship. The ones that grab me are not horror, or drama, or sci-fi necessarily. I swore off horror movies long ago after watching Halloween (the original) as a babysitter in college. I was babysitting not far from my dorm so I walked to and from the house. BAD MISTAKE  to make  after you’ve just watched Halloween. I boogied my way home scared out of my wits. Uh, uh no more horror/slasher movies for me!

Movies I am attracted to are movies that speak to me deeply. They make me think and stick in my head for a long time after watching them. Most movies and tv shows I forget almost right away after watching them. Sad I know but memories for me are attached to emotions. This one has stuck with me for a couple of years after I watched it.  And the winner is…Mr. Megorium’s Wonder Emporium. Yes, it’s silly, implausible, and totally sappy but you know what the quotes if you think on them are profound especially Mr. Megorium’s good-by to Molly.

Mr. Edward Magorium: [to Molly, about dying] When King Lear dies in Act V, do you know what Shakespeare has written? He's written "He dies." That's all, nothing more. No fanfare, no metaphor, no brilliant final words. The culmination of the most influential work of dramatic literature is "He dies." It takes Shakespeare, a genius, to come up with "He dies." And yet every time I read those two words, I find myself overwhelmed with dysphoria. And I know it's only natural to be sad, but not because of the words "He dies." but because of the life we saw prior to the words.
[pause, walks over to Molly]
Mr. Edward Magorium: I've lived all five of my acts, Mahoney, and I am not asking you to be happy that I must go. I'm only asking that you turn the page, continue reading... and let the next story begin. And if anyone asks what became of me, you relate my life in all its wonder, and end it with a simple and modest "He died."
Molly Mahoney: [starting to sob] I love you.
Mr. Edward Magorium: I love you, too.
[picks Molly up, sighs heavily]
Mr. Edward Magorium: Your life is an occasion. Rise to it.

That’s what I want people to say about me when I die. She died. Nothing more nothing less but I want them in that simple phrase to imply that I lived first. That my life, somehow made a difference to the speaker and helped people along the way. This movie is a utter delight to watch. It’s full of magic and wonder. The final message of the movie is that all anyone needs to succeed is for someone to believe in them beginning with the person’s belief in themselves.

Song in the Night

January 10, 2012

God is very gracious and kind to me each day. For those of you who don’t know me very well, it is my faith in God that has sustained me through some VERY difficult times. I could list a number of them here but I try not to rehearse the bad things in my life and look for the blessings each day.

This morning I woke up singing, You Love Me Anyway by Sidewalk Prophets.

You love me anyway
It’s like nothing in life that I’ve ever known
You love me anyway
Oh Lord, how You love me
How You love me
How You love me

I have awakened with a song in my head for many many years. Especially in the last six years since a VERY traumatic and tragic event in my life. I used to wonder if I was crazy until one day I heard that there is an actual name for this phenomenon. It’s called a musical hallucination. People get them all the time. You know, the moment when this song just pops in your head and it WON’T leave no matter what you do.

My songs always contain a phrase or theme that I need for that day or for consecutive days at a time for a season in my life. Evidently I need the phrase, You love me anyway at this particular time. Before you think I’m totally off my rocker, I don’t have these in my head all day long everyday. I may forget in the next hour which song it was but I have them long enough to sink down into my soul where they need to be.

Recently, I found the phrase Song in the night in Psalms.

Yet the LORD will command his lovingkindness in the daytime, and in the night his song shall be with me, and my prayer unto the God of my life. Psalm 42:8

Now I know who is singing to me at night and that brings GREAT COMFORT to my weary heart.

Ok, now for one last quote or two or … from the movie I mentioned last Wednesday. I will reveal the title tomorrow on Wolfe Wednesday. No fair googling the quotes to find it but if you know the answer, post it in the comments. ;)

Main Character: I fell so completely in love with these shoes, I bought enough pairs to last my whole lifetime. This is my last pair.

Quote Two:

Main Character: Name the Fibonacci series from its eleventh to its sixteenth.
Accountant: Umm... 89, 144, 233, 377, 610?
Main Character: Perfect. Number four, do we really need it?
Accountant: If you like squares - you do.
Main Character Oh, I like squares. Good. Now, the hot dog, the hot dog/bun ratio, why for the love of mustard are there never enough buns?
Accountant: Extra hot dogs...
Main Character: Yes, but why?
Accountant: In case you drop a couple.
Main Character: What kind of insufferable fool drops a hot dog?
Accountant: Anything can happen, sir.
Main Character: Anything can happen. How absolutely true. You're exactly the mutant I'm looking for! You're hired.

Are you giggling yet? Honestly, I have not been able to look at a package of hotdog buns without giggling ever since I saw this movie. Tomorrow I will reveal the title and my most favorite quote of all from the movie.

One of “Those” Numbers

January 9, 2012

Monday morning I stepped on the scale and saw one of “those” numbers. You know, the ones you never thought you’d see there. One of those awful close to another one of “those” numbers that you are determined to NEVER weigh. I saw one and it jerked me to reality.

I have never been considered pretty. I’m rather plain and I kind of like it that way. There is nothing I can do about what the world considers physical beauty. But there sure is plenty I can do about not being plump or fat or overweight or morbidly obese whatever people are using to describe those extra pounds around my middle. I don’t want to be stick thin like the models on the runway. They actually make me boiling mad when I see them. When will fashion designers realize that a woman is NOT SUPPOSED to look like that and start to design for a real woman with curves? So I am resolving to lose 30 pounds this year by a healthy diet and more exercise because .1 pound is too close to one of “those” numbers. I’ll let you know how this journey goes. I’ll begin by telling you I got 2 Salads and 2 Vegetables in on my New Year’s Resolutions this last week. Walking unfortunately lost the race at 0. So this week begins a new week and new numbers to shoot for each day.

Now another quote from the movie I mentioned last week:

Female Character: [after they have set all the clocks forward  in a shop to strike noon at the same time] Thirty-seven seconds. Now we wait.
Main Character: No. We Breathe. We Pulse. We Regenerate. Our hearts beat. Our minds create. Our souls ingest. Thirty-seven seconds, well used, is a lifetime.

How true! Now has anyone guessed what the movie is yet?

Wolfe Wednesdays

January 4, 2012

Ok first, I have to admit that Wolfe Wednesdays is NOT MY original idea. It comes from my friend Teri at Managed Macros who started Tuesdays with Teri. Go over and check out her blog, try the recipes, and improve your nutrition. Thanks girl!

The Iowa caucuses are over, thank God. No more phone calls multiple times a day for a few months. Although if there’s a lesson to be learned from them, it’s that your vote does count. Mitt Romney only won over Rick Santorum by 8 votes, just 8 votes. Honestly, if I could have figured out my precinct, it would have only been 7 votes.

The second lesson in the caucuses is stop harassing your voters with robo calls multiple times a day. Honestly, I got 3 phone calls in half an hour yesterday and two of them were from the same candidate’s office. IF I could have talked to a REAL person they would have gotten and ear full. This is the same office who woke me up in the middle of the night after my son had surgery. They scared the daylights out of me. I do wish we’d pass laws limiting all this activity but you know legislators will not pass such a law because it would limit their own campaign activities.

Now for some food for thought. Since I started my blog with a movie quote, I’ll end with one today.

 “Life is an occasion, rise up to it.”

Can you name the movie? Hint: it’s one of my absolute favorites AND one I’ve watched multiple times.

i is kind, i is smart, i is important

January 2, 2012

"i is kind, i is smart, i is important"

It isn’t very often I watch a movie more than once but I watched “The Help” yesterday on DVD. It has affected me profoundly.  The above quote from two year old Mae Mobley at the end of the movie has stuck with me all night. Her simple words taught to her by her loving house keeper Aibileen sum up what every child on the planet should be taught every day of their lives. Instead, many of us, me included, were taught far different and in the end did not end up as kind or thinking of ourselves as smart or important because of messages given to us by the important people in our lives. The other message of this movie is the way we treat people in our society. People are people no matter their race or creed. The 1960s should have taught us that but I’m not sure we’ve learned anything at all.

This is a new year, a time when people start New Year’s Resolutions. I haven’t been big on resolutions in the past but last year set some goals for myself and made great progress in shooting for them. I learned that if you aim at nothing, you’ll hit it every time. So this year:

·         I will repeat, I is kind, I is smart, I is important, AND I am a reflection of God’s love everyday as I look in the mirror.

·         I will eat vegetables three times a week or more.

·         I will eat salads three times a week or more (not to be confused with the above vegetables but in addition to them).

·         I will walk three times or more a week.

·         I will find a full time job paying $50,000 a year.

·         I will rebuild my emergency fund.

·         I will finance my home in my name.

·         I will look for a chance to show kindness at least once a day.

Will I achieve these goals, maybe not but I will have goals to shoot for in the coming 365 days this year. If I aim for nothing, I’ll hit it every time, If I aim high at least I’ll hit something. I think I’ll go watch “The Help” again before I send it back to Netflix. i is kind, i is smart, i is important, and i is a reflection of God’s love…